


Secrets Kept

by nishizono



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-13
Updated: 2011-04-13
Packaged: 2017-10-20 23:23:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/218231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nishizono/pseuds/nishizono
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the promt: "Arthur feeling particularly protective after Merlin's had some sort of encounter with someone who wasn't of the nicest sort and didn't have the best intentions."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secrets Kept

"I wish you'd tell me what happened," said Arthur.

Merlin kept his head bowed over the breeches he was mending, but Arthur could still see the bruise on his cheek. The bruise had already faded from red to purple, but that didn't make it any easier to look at. Merlin's voice was tight when he replied, "I already told you, there's nothing to tell."

Arthur frowned and leaned against his writing table with his arms crossed. He'd gone a bit mad that morning when Merlin had come to him with a bruised face and a split lip. He'd demanded to know what had happened, but Merlin had refused to say, and Arthur had got angrier and angrier until he realised Merlin was cringing away from him. Merlin _never_ shied away from an argument.

"Staring at it isn't going to make it go away," said Merlin, then added through his teeth, " _Sire_."

"No, but if you'd tell me who did it, I could--"

"I'm not a _woman_ , Arthur," spat Merlin. "I don't need your chivalry, so leave it. You have more important things to worry about."

Arthur wasn't always the best at unravelling other people's emotions, but he didn't like the edge in Merlin's voice, the hint of fear that had never been there before. They hadn't always got along, the two of them, but they were friends now, so of course Arthur would worry when Merlin came into his rooms bruised, terrified, and exhausted.

Merlin froze like a startled animal when Arthur touched his hair.

"You really are the biggest idiot I've ever met," said Arthur, almost under his breath. "It might have escaped your notice, but as the Crown Prince of Camelot, it's my job to worry about the well-being of my people, and like it or not, you qualify."

Merlin stayed absolutely still for another few seconds before he dropped the needle and fabric he'd been holding, then leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and his face buried in his hands. He wasn't crying, but his shoulders were hunched and the sides of his neck were flushed.

"Merlin," said Arthur. He let his hand glide across Merlin's back, rubbing circles between his shoulder blades and trying to coax the muscles into relaxing.

"Have you ever had a secret?" asked Merlin, but it seemed like he wanted to say more, so Arthur didn't reply. After a long silence, Merlin whispered, "Have you ever had a secret that was so... so _important_ you couldn't stand it? But the people closest to you, you could never tell them, because if you did, they'd never speak to you again? So you lie, and you-- this isn't who I want to be."

Arthur closed his eyes and thought of Morgana, and how he'd tried to love her and couldn't, and of Gwen, who he'd loved as best he knew how but never in the way she'd needed. He thought of all the furtive glances he'd stolen at Richard and Jarret before he'd known what those glances meant. He thought of Merlin.

"Arthur?"

"Yes, Merlin, I have secrets," said Arthur, his voice tense to the point of breaking.

Merlin was shaking underneath Arthur's hand. "How do you--? I don't know what to do."

Arthur sank to the floor and dragged Merlin down beside him. He curled an arm around Merlin's shoulders, and Merlin slumped sideways against him. Arthur sighed and closed his eyes, stupidly trying to memorise the way Merlin's hair tickled his jaw.

"I'd keep your secrets," said Merlin, whispering like they were already trading their deepest and darkest. "You don't have to tell me any of them, but if you did, I'd keep them."

"I know," said Arthur. He swallowed and gave Merlin's shoulder a squeeze. "I know you would, but some secrets are just..."

"Too important?"

Arthur felt the cracks in his heart widen. "Yeah," he whispered. "Yeah, some secrets are just too important to give away."


End file.
